I was also thinking of calling this post Spring Cleaning: 8 Interracial Struggles that are all too real, or Petty Thursday (take your pick). But, really. With all the snow, I figured that it was time to also just shed a little of my own pettiness and grudges seeing that Spring is here. Call it my own personal spring cleaning if you will.
So, one of my favorite things about being an interracial couple is constantly having to defend it…
…said nobody ever.
But seriously, regularly defending your relationship is one of those grating little things that makes you want to scream and punch someone in the face, but I’m Mennonite so it makes me want to say something like…”I hope you step on a Lego” and then pray to black Jesus.
I don’t know – I guess it could also be similar to that same reaction you have when you see that couple dating and you think that one of them “could do better.” Except that reaction is just rude and rooted in ridiculous understandings of physical attraction, while the other one has that but also smacks of racism.
Really, it starts with the little things.
- When you go to buy your groceries and both of you are stacking your groceries on the counter and the cashier goes, “is this together?” Like perfect strangers put their food together.
- When you stand in line together at a restaurant and the hostess goes “table for one?” Okay, that is just ignorant.
- When you are eating at a restaurant and the waitress asks if you want separate checks.
- When you are walking outside and a stranger asks you if the only reason your together is because your husband has a fetish for black women.
- When your coworker asks you if you have black boyfriends on the side because she thinks that your white husband wouldn’t satiate you enough sexually…
- When someone stops you to tell you that you will make the most beautiful mixed babies someday.
- The comment: “I’ve always wanted to date a black woman…”
- The stares. Doesn’t matter where – North or South, the stares will always follow you. (Okay, bad pun. Too soon?).
So, I’m over here taking a deep breath and letting it go. How about you? Any experiences you need to let go or care to share?