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This past week, I have seen a lot of advice about “how to move forward if your feeds are back to normal,” and “how to decide if you should apologize for past racist remarks.”

Maybe you’ve seen some of these.

(& maybe you are stuck on the word ‘normal’ like me…)

Here’s the thing.

Generic advice about how to XYZ is just that – generic.

It will work for some people and it won’t work for everyone.

As new allies (and perhaps old allies) you need to know that:

You will mess up when you show up.

You will apologize to some people that want to hear it and others that don’t (I would say err on the side of apologizing because that allows for ownership and a chance for you to ask how to repair harm. Remember that if they say no that is a valid answer and a complete sentence).

You will read problematic books and articles and listen to problematic podcasts.

You will argue something badly.

Maybe you will post or retweet an article that you can’t argue well against others.

You may say something harmful when trying to make a point that you are a safe space.

You may realize that the church you attend contributed to white flight.

You may realize that your neighborhood is the product of gentrification.

You may realize that the Whole Foods you “LOVE” is actually resulting in food deserts.

& as you fail forward, you will learn and gain knowledge.

You will learn to ask new critical questions and these critical questions will push you to self interrogation.

You will begin to ask new questions like – what are the environments already in place that contribute to ongoing systems of whiteness instead of “how can we get more Black people?”

And you will have the option to fail forward or to go back.

Do not let the person you were talk you out of the person you are becoming.

Upward & Onward Together

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