Posted on September 4, 2018
There is a value system on whom we believe matter and whom we believe are innocent. There is a value system on whom “deserves” to be abused and those whom don’t. Legally, the Justice System values some people over others. It’s in the way we tell the stories. It’s who we believe is innocent. It’s whom we believe matters.
————————————–* Warning: Trigger Warning*————————————————
Gerson: Um. (slouches more, rubs eyes and rolls his eyes). I don’t know. Not really.
Veronica: Okay, why not? What do you feel? Awkward? Uncomfortable?
Gerson: I don’t know. I just do. *smiles*
Veronica: Why do you feel uncomfortable?
Gerson: I just do. *talking to me* what did you want outta this? An apology? What?!!
Me: I just want you to stop touching me….like, I want to be your friend. Just stop the touching.
Ken: *to Gerson* Now is the time to apologize
Gerson: *stares* *whisper* I’m sorry
Veronica: Speak up
Ken: Well, are you actually sorry? Don’t apologize for something you are not sorry for
Ken: Are you sorry?
Gerson: Not really
Ken: But you can see where Boni is coming from
Ken: Well can you be sorry for what happened?
Gerson: I guess
Veronica: We are not out to get you here. Nobody’s thinking that you’re the bad guy
Ken: So, you have the floor
Gerson: I’m sorry *smirks*
Ken: See, speak up. You have a beautiful voice. Everybody should hear that voice *laughs*
Veronica: Yeah, it’s a beautiful voice…
Ken: So, do we have peace?
Me: *small voice* sure
Gerson: *rolls his eyes, scowls* sure
Posted on February 1, 2018
Maybe you’ve seen this sign. Or, maybe you’ve heard about it. In an age of ever-increasing political decisiveness, it’s nice to see these signs dotted along the streets in which I work and the locations in which I visit.
But (and really – you knew the but was coming) I can’t help but notice the distressing trend between the physical location of the signs and the socioeconomic status and racial demographics of the neighborhoods.
The places I generally see these signs are in the following places and spaces:
For example, I have found that it is much harder to curse out my neighbor than to curse out a stranger.
Rethinking how I engage with others also requires me to think a lot harder about what I hope to achieve from the situation. When I am centered, I find that my interactions with others remain healthier when I am able to check-in with myself first and allow myself to notice my own body and my own expectations.
When I allow myself to recenter and consider the other person as a neighbor, I also allow room for transformation to happen.
For me, this process requires intentional commitment towards leaning into relationship with others in respectful dialogue. However, this commitment does, for me, also come with precautions.
Posted on May 9, 2017
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But, try to find peace in the process.
Life is always shifting, dynamic, intense and wildly unpredictable. But go your own speed.
Today, I affirm my own strength.
I’m not sure that I think that healing is a end destination. Maybe instead it is something that we are all continually aspiring towards: becoming more whole, living more holistically. Perhaps, even healing doesn’t always require forgiveness. (Dangerous thought!) Or, maybe it doesn’t require forgiveness in the traditional sense. My journey has meant learning to forgive myself for not loving myself more kindly; for not being more gentle with myself; for not owning myself more completely. This journey has meant unlearning the lies about myself that I believed and it has meant unlearning the lies others want me to believe as well as learning to set and keep boundaries.
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